Castlevania/Transcript
(Episode begins with Sonic and co. running) Sonic: You sure about this? Tails: Definitely! The clue was: "What was once dark and shifty, wearing a golden flame, is now worn out yet shiny and so fucking lame." So naturally, it means...vampires! (The gang find themselves outside Dracula's Castle) Eggman: Hey! Vampires aren't lame! You've seen Edward's abs, right? Please tell me you've seen them! (Silence) Jim: You are a strange...fat...Eggman. Tails: Alright, so we have to find Count Dracula before Simon kills him so I suggest we split up into teams. Sonic: Fine, Cool Guys vs. the Nerds. Tails: Ho-ho! I like that! Come on, fellow Cool Guys! Let's hump the fuck out of Dracula! Jim: We might fight our way through hell to get to the Count but I think team Cool Guys can do it! (Tails and Jim cheered as they entered the right door.) Sonic: Aw, how adorable! They think they're cool! (Later, Sonic and Eggman arrives in a rec room) Sonic: This is already the first room and I'm already exhausted! We're never going to find this guy! Eggman: Uh, there he is. (Eggman points at Dracula, who is standing behind a beer counter) Sonic: Oh, shit! Batman! Eggman: Oh! Please don't turn us into vampires!...Unless we give ripped-up abs. Do we get abs? Because I can really be talking right now. Dracula: What? I'm not going to do that! I'm just glad I've got some new visitors! Now, who wants one of my Castlevania Micro-brews!? (Dracula tosses a micro-brew at Sonic, who catches it) Sonic: Castle-living is the fucking tits! I've already forgot why we came here! Eggman: Uh, we have to ask Count Chocola something...uh...nah, I think the dorks on Team Dork should remember it. Sonic: Huh. You're right. We should probably go look for them. (Two girls surrounds Sonic and Eggman) Girl: Who wants Jell-O Shots?! (Sonic and Eggman began cheering. Meanwhile, Tails and Jim and fighting some of Dracula's minions) Jim: Look out! Bat attack at 11 o'clock! (Tails and Jim take out the rest of Dracula's minions) Tails: Woo! We are kickin' ass! Alright, so all we have to do is survey like 20 more levels, and we'll almost be close to finding Dracula's whereabouts! (Back with Sonic and Eggman, they are still partying with Dracula) Eggman: Hey, Dracula! Chug on this beer! (Eggman throws a beer can at Dracula who catches it and drinks it) Dracula: Glug! Glug! Sonic: I wish we can stay like this forever! Dracula: That can be arranged... (The three of them starts cheering again) Sonic: Hell yeah! Fuck it, I'm in! Eggman: Abs! (Suddenly, Tails and Jim enters the Rec Room, panting.) Tails: Ugh! Oh my god! What the fuck?! Did you guys find Dracula?! Did you get the riddle? Sonic: Oh, right. The whole stupid quest thing. (Dracula approaches Tails.) Dracula: Bwa! What's up, pretty lady? Let's say you hide some bats in your belfry, eh? Wink, wink. Tails: Ugh, get off me! Why is he drunk?! What the fuck is going on?! (Suddenly, Simon barges into the rec room.) Simon: I have battled through endless hordes of hell! Tails: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so did we, dick, get in line. Sonic: Should've looked in the rec room, dude. We've found him like two seconds. Simon: Back away! I must kill Dracula and avenge my family. (Simon approaches Dracula but Sonic shoots him.) Dracula: Oh, man! You totally save my life! I owe you big time! How about I share my girl with you? I call mouth. You can have butt. Sonic: Yeah, in a sec, but do you have a clue about finding the creator, first? Dracula: Clue? Ah, yes, clue! (Gets out a can of beer and began drinking it) Gulp, gulp, gulp! (Throws away the can) Bwa! Now onto the clue!: